Madonna Didn’t Call
I grew up in South Africa. In 1994, we were promised a new constitution with protected rights and social acceptance for gays. I was out of the closet, but, I was skeptical. South Africa still seemed very backward and homophobic. I was also tired of my boring corporate job and felt like the entire rest of the world was happening without me. I was aching for more than what I was experiencing in Durban, where I was living at the time. After a summer in Greece, I decided to follow the sun and headed to Florida. In 1994, Miami was a city in the midst of a resurgence and was all about Stallone, Madonna and South Beach, derelict Art Deco buildings next to remodeled delights, beautiful people, and fashion models and film crews everywhere. I was now one of them! Perhaps, I could find fame and fortune here, where I knew I’d be accepted, denim shorts and roller blades notwithstanding.
“How did I get to this point?” I kept asking myself nervously and guiltily, during the two-hour train ride. I’m a father, provider, protector, moral beacon, and compass. I thought I knew and owned my shit, but clearly, I didn’t!
It was one of those days I will never forget. It was the Spring of 1999, probably in late March, just after my birthday. It was on a Saturday afternoon. I walked into the less than crowded gym, and there he stood — a somewhat muscular, attractive, Italian man with a greying buzzed haircut.
When I first heard the Turkish word sevici, I had no idea what it meant. Though literally translated it means lover, it seems the patriarchal Turkish society adopted it to refer to lesbians, a kinder word for bullying its gay women than the one used against their male counterparts, ibne, which is more similar to the derogatory English term “fags.”
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It was late evening, as just about everything was at Studio 54. I can’t remember who got me the interview, somebody I met in Cahoots, I think, the Upper West Side gay bar where they had little paper pads that said “Who were you in Cahoots with?” so you could write down your number for someone you wanted to meet up with some other time. 
